Sometimes i feel like i dont wanna know people because everybody dissapoint me in the end.
I’ve learnt that i never have to be so close to people to not get hurt. again.
I’ve realised i hate people more than i thought.
I’ve felt how selfish can people be.
I’ve realised I WONT EXPECT ANYTHING FOR ANYBODY AGAIN.
I know that even i dont see too much some people they mean lots to me.
I just have a few good friends, i can count them with one hand-
I’ve learnt that you cant mix feelings in a friendship.
Feelings sucks, i hope i didnt have feelings for a while.
I always move on.
I dont believe in hope. I believe in me.
Im lucky and i have to thank my family for it. I love them more than anything.
I’ve enjoyed life this year: trips, parties, good times, bad times, sex, good choices, tattos, shows, friendship…
I really have to thank some people i shared my time with this year. you know that time’s for me the most important thing in life.
For all good memories, the ones I wanna remember.
Give me what i need. All I need is time to think about facing the situation. If I really want to do it. If I can really do it. If I’ll be able to live like this. If I want you closer. If I wat you far from me. If you deserve this. If I deserve this. If this is what i want. If I can stand it.If I could be as selfish as everyone, just to be like you, then you’ll see how you really are. I will forget it all, we’re gonna start over, like it never happened. I dont want you to touch me, or ask me for a hug, or hang out. You cant pretend I count on you now when all this time i asked you to go out or sth you had better things to do. Im not a rock, it fucking kills me. every word i say seems “like gut shot that stripped away my breath”. All i can think is how fool i’ve been all this time. will you ever do anything for me!?!? do you really know me?! do you really know what i want!? the thing is that i dont know if that “start over” thing is because you could feel better, if its because you really need me, if you really care about me. anyway. thanks for this amazing birthday present, and make this day the worst day of the year. (you already gave me the worst day of my life some years ago)
Also i saw you kissing her. think about i told you about RESPECT.
Dont expect i smile to you or talk to you, or even me being nice. cos right now i cant.
you know whats funny. yesterday when you asked me if i was better i was really feeling better cos i spent the night with one of the most important persons of my life (obviously it wasnt you). but now… im sorry but im so dissapointed of the way you’ve done things. again. you werent there when i needed you (i needed you lately even i didnt show my emotions every fucking moment).
Maybe someday i will mature and i’ll look at this in a different way and i hope i smiled at it.
The fool Helena still thinks she can be over it, she’s a rock, she can face everything, she can look you in the eyes and tell you “its ok, lets be friends”.
I’ve already told you. I dont know what im gonna do. how i’ll react. I’m still in shock.